Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Such a Bore

My T.V. shows start this week! The backdrop to which I process my life is finally up-and-running again. Crime-solving, romance, and far-far-away lands will suck me nightly at 8:00 PM, pacific time. But my favorite shows actually center around family dynamics, for they make me feel normal. (See "One 'Heck' of a Show.")

And lately, my mornings have played-out like a commercial-free episode of The Middle - this morning being no exception. Here's a sampling:

-We fought over Cocoa Pebbles and how I initially intended for them to be eaten as dessert, not for breakfast. (A poorly chosen battle on my part.)

-Then P.E. shorts went missing (along with my cool) 15 seconds before needing to leave in time so that kids in French class don't play the "How Late will Emma be Today?" game.

-And then we dodged maggots on the sidewalk while making our way to the car. (Yes, maggots. Something to do with it being trash day. Long story.)   

So when I finally landed at the gym, there was no zoning-out-on-the-treadmill waiting for me. Instead, I had 50 people waiting for me to creatively teach a step class with clarity and precision - and a smile. And I so wanted to "go there." You know, tell them my morning woes while I finished tying my shoes. But thanks to a quote I read earlier in the morning (before the chaos), I just couldn't: 

"The definition of a bore is someone who, when asked how they are feeling, will actually tell you." -Ruth Graham

Oh no! Could it be... I'm a bore? Sure I didn't end up spilling all to my class... that time. But what about the other times I went on and on and on - no filter, just endless sobbing about my tedious issues. Yes, some things do need venting, but Cocoa Pebbles?  

Really, who cares? Well, besides God. I can always lean into him -  he likes it. He especially likes it when I cry to him while throwing in bits of thanksgiving along the way. Helps with perspective, I guess. 

You say, "But Molly, seriously - gym shorts and maggots - that's all you've got?" Well, for today. But believe you me, I've had my days - days I've been maligned, misunderstood, and wronged. And those are the times I've let these words from author Nicole Johnson - words I've read over and over throughout the years - sink into my soul:

"There is freedom when you are not afraid to be wronged, not afraid to be misunderstood, not afraid to be forgotten for the moment. When your heart can trust that there is One defender of your reputation when you are maligned, One champion of your heart when you're misunderstood, One kinsman redeemer when you are wronged. That is true liberty and peace. Then you don't have to prove your point, constantly defend your actions, or demand your rights. You are free to quietly trust."

The "One" she's referring to is Jesus - our defender, champion, and redeemer. And in all my favorite shows (going for spiritual-corny here), I see him when the good guys win... when the boy gets the girl... when adventure awaits... and when Sue Heck from The Middle never quits (even when humanly-speaking, she should).  

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