Monday, May 19, 2014

Head Wound Jefe

During a non-routine family hike at the beach last week, Jeff walked into a large branch sticking out of a cliff and jabbed his head - hard. He seemed really hurt. The bad kind of hurt.

And my thoughts went like this:

"It's here. THE trial of our lives is here. So I must be strong. For the kids. And I must assess the wound. No. Yes. But what if I see brain matter? Would that mean a life of spoon feedings and sponge baths? Always knew I'd make a good nurse. Or maybe just temporary amnesia and slurred speech. As long as he can tell me he loves me with his eyes..."

And a short time later, after establishing that his brains were still nicely inside his head and a cliffside helicopter rescue was not necessary, I asked Jeff, "What was going through YOUR mind? Weren't you scared?"

And his thoughts, or thought, went like this:

"Ow."

So while I was thinking of ways to make our home wheelchair-friendly and vowing to never remarry should a coma set in, Jeff only thought of "ow."

Turns out it takes just one little boo boo on Jeff's beautiful head before Molly starts planning out her days! Starts writing a script! And starts freaking out!

Matthew 6:24 says, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I'm not talking treasure as in the treasure trove of 12 glorious consecutive Monday nights of The Bachelorette beginning TONIGHT. I'm talking about the things in life I really treasure: feeling safe, secure, and being in control. And for a brief 32 seconds, I felt like I was losing all of that.

But what if... what if I treasured God's control over the whole ordeal instead of my own Frankie Heck attempts at control? And what if I treasured lasting things, like God's "I'm-right-here-with-you" whisper to me as I reluctantly peeked at Jeff's head wound? Surely THEN (most of) my mental script writing would be replaced by a heart more at rest.

Author Mike Erre puts it this way: "Even if the worst thing you can imagine comes to pass, (God's) kingdom is so big, vast, and good, you are still secure."

So sure, if the worst thing really did happen, a few plans would be in order. (Bad head wounds would need a good plan.) But overall, a sense of God's bigger plan would outshine any grand ideas of mine, especially the spoon feeding and sponge bath ones. (Though Jeff might disagree.)

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