Thursday, June 19, 2014

You Just Got Juked

Ever hear of the word juke? Sure it's a term used in sports where a player might suddenly change directions or plans or whatever athletes do, as in, "He juked a couple of defenders and scored."

Well, turns out juking has grown wings and flown out of football stadiums and straight into our little worlds, bringing awkward, I'm-a-total-loser endings to conversations that had fun, lighthearted beginnings.

A few examples...

The DIET juke:

(Jen) "I just downed a Taco Bell Crunch Wrap Supreme, made extra supreme! Omigah!"

(Joe) "Oh, I've never had one of those. I only eat free-range beef."

The MOM juke:

(Kate) "Capri-suns are on sale at Ralph's this week. Six boxes for 10 bucks!"

(Susie) "My sweet Kayla only drinks water. And I haven't been to Ralph's in ages! Besides, Whole Foods is within walking distance from my house." 

The GIFT juke:

(Rachel) "I love giving gift cards as presents - it's fun! And nothing's easier!"

(Sally) "I love gifting my homemade candles. Talk about FUN! Pouring wax into cute jars I've salvaged from thrift store trash bins is a cinch! And green!" (A combo "gift" and "save-the-earth" juke.)


(Rick) "We need a new refrigerator - bad. Good thing we have room on our VISA card."

(Lisa) "Yeah, we needed a new refrigerator a few months ago and were so thankful we had enough cash in our 'appliance' envelope to cover it."


(Jeff) "I'm totally BRINGING IT this anniversary! The plans I've made! She's gonna die!"

(John) "That's really nice of you. But I made a commitment to treat my wife special every day."


(Michelle) "Here's what I'm thinking: I'm in need of a serious massage. Let's spend an entire day at the spa, drowning our sorrows from one specialty treatment to the next."

(Sarah) "That sounds refreshing. But I find real relaxation comes from a day spent at the food bank, serving the homeless in our community. That's where I really unwind." 

Darn jukes. Whether the juker or the jukee (I've been both), no one is exempt. And no one can say, "That is EXACTLY why we live off the grid in the country and NOT among the show-offs of suburbia." Because not only is that statement a juke in and of itself, they'll soon find themselves getting cow juked or farm equipment juked or we-only-drink-well-water juked.

And the worst of them all - the doozy of jukes - is the JESUS juke...

(Heather) "I finally gave in and downloaded PEOPLE Magazine - I'm tired of only reading it during my son's ortho appointments."

(Trish) "Well, I really like my new Bible App. Did you know the Bible is filled with famous people?"

Poor Heather. While Trish was trying to prove her Jesus-ness and her love for God, Heather got juked big time. Didn't see it coming. Welp, so much for entrusting Trish with her deepest darkest secrets. Not anytime soon, anyway.

Philippians 3:9 says we become right with God by our faith in Jesus, not by how many JPCs - Jesuses Per Conversation - we can squeeze into our casual discussions with people. Don't get me wrong, I love God talk - my favorite kind of talk. But I'd rather win at being kind than win at making my point. (Oops, I may or may not have juked you just now. Guilty.)

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