Tuesday, June 23, 2015

20 Years of El Jefe

So much for the "17 Years of El Jefe" I posted three years ago. We're now at the 20-year mark. And I feel I need to revamp my list, capping it off at a solid, even number.

Here goes! In no special order, 20 reasons why I'm glad I married Mr. Jeffrey Eugene:

Reason #1:  Insanely talented. I get such a kick out of telling people what he does. You guys, he's a toy designer. Who does that? My husband.

Reason #2:  Knows how to rescue me from poisonous snakes, runaway trains, and G.I. Joe fantasies, for he's had plenty of practice while sleepwalking.

Reason #3:  Way cute. In fact, I've been told he's crazy cute. Ever hear of Joe Manganiello? I got me one. See?

Reason #4:  Funny, witty, clever, quick, slightly irreverent, and wry.

Reason #5:  From-here-to-Alabama-and-backingly adventurous. Dude's got it in him to take on some pretty big moves and changes. What's next, big guy?

Reason #6:  Boy, WHAT a dad. I mean, someone's gotta head-up the science projects around here - or anything requiring a tri-fold poster board - because it ain't gonna be me. No sir. You can find me baking cakes and french braiding hair.

Reason #7:  Loves Mount Hermon near Santa Cruz as much as I do. He even proposed right there in the redwoods 22 years ago. It's our forever vacation home.

Reason #8:  A God thing. If Jeff and I weren't on the same faith page, our heads would probably fall off. God is the whole reason we exist, the whole reason we're even doing all of this. "For in Him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 12:28)

Reason #9: Brought out the closet rocker in me. It began with huge, floor-standing speakers back in 1995. Throw in 20 years of advancing technology and a few Stryper concerts, and boom! I now like electric guitar solos and the cowbell. 

Reason #10:  A Do-It-Yourself-er. Dry wall, tile, and cabinet installer. Furniture, bike, and toy put-together-er. Why, you just watch - he's going to build me a log cabin one day.

Reason #11:  A man's man. He just knows things. Scruffy. Rough around the edges, yet enjoys a good Little House on the Prairie episode. Hairy and strong, yet snuggles with kittens. Likes to hike and likes to eat.

Reason #12:  Likes to eat.

Reason #13:  Dependable. On-time and efficient. When he says 2.3 minutes, he really means 1.8 minutes.

Reason #14:  Jumbo-size, post-labor, feminine protection pads have never scared or embarrassed him. And he holds barf bowls. He takes care of me in every circumstance.

Reason #15:  Gives me wings so I can soar to tops of mountains with the mighty and valiant eagle... or something like that. In other words, he doesn't squash (or is it squelch? squish? scrunch?) my dreams. 

Reason #16:  A great companion. Perhaps my favorite part of being married. What would Masterpiece Theater, blue cheese salad wedges, and waiting (wishing, praying, pleading "please God, do something exciting with our weather!") for a good thunderstorm be like without him?

Reason #17: Doesn't snore. Or nothing that a good shove won't stop.

Reason #18: He once told me that I wasn't lazy. And ever since, I hold my head higher. Like I'm in on a neat little secret about myself - "If I'm anything, it's NOT lazy, people!" (Some compliments just stick!)

Reason #19: We have 20 YEARS of the same memories. Memories I have with no one else. "Hey, babe, remember our screenprinting business and delivering t-shirts to the softball moms (who were hot for you) in that old beat-up Ranchero we bought for $500 from that girl who worked at Albertsons?" Yep!

AND as always, the last reason... Reason #20:  His thighs are bigger than mine.
Now everybody knows that for every 20 positive things, there's an equal amount of why-God-whys and please-make-it-stops. But still, I like being married. So thankful God thought me a good candidate for it. My life - the good and the bad - will not go unnoticed because Jeff is there to notice it, and vice versa.

Friday, June 5, 2015

10 Things That Make it a Good Morning

You know you're having a good morning when:

1. Before your feet even hit the ground, you decide to give yourself permission to check the break room at work for donuts.

2. There's an unopened bag of Starbucks' Italian Roast and you're SO GLAD your coffee-making preference is still a 12-cupper coffee pot.

3. While the coffee maker drips-drips, you read through an adult sibling texting thread that began after you went to bed: "Describe your last fart using a movie title." (Gone With the Wind, Pitch Perfect, Fast and Furious, Death Becomes Her, etc.)

4. The Today Show's Savannah Guthrie is looking perfectly normal-sized. Like she ate a burger and her husband's fries the night before - and maybe a piece of cinnamon toast.

5. Your 5th grader forgets it's violin day at school, freeing you from giving the "sometimes we all have to do things we don't like" speech for the 47th time. (She loathes the violin. Told me recently that she "fake plays." And that the class recital should be called a "drama performance" because she's acting, not playing.)

6. The sunbeams that shine through the cracks on the fence outside your kitchen window around 6:45 each morning are particularly sunbeamy and cheery.

7. Instead of applying mascara at your least favorite intersection using your "car" mascara (longest light ever - made me cry once, okay twice), you miraculously have time to use your "upstairs bathroom" mascara. (Not to be confused with your "mirror by front door" mascara.)

8. You realize you're not needed anywhere that night. No previously-made commitments. And you vow to keep it that way.

9. The Jesus-loves-you-shirt-wearing man is looking extra convincing as he points directly to you, then to the heart on his shirt, then back to you.

(*A quick time-out for the "Jesus Loves You" man: a short little man who walks around town, enthusiastically telling every person, car, and dog within a square mile of my kids' high school - and its bad boy Taco Bell hangout - that Jesus loves them. Although I'm still undecided on his exact level of crazy - [Like crazy-about-Jesus crazy? Or I-am-Jesus crazy?] - his declaration of God's love for mankind makes me happy. For it's not done in a religious way. And not in the usual way we find ourselves interpreting "Jesus loves you." Which sometimes is "because he has to" or a detached "if I had a dime..." sort of way. But more like it's the first time ever hearing it, first time sinking in.*)

10. And finally, you know it's a good morning when you're told that Jesus loves you!