Just when I thought our home was having a longer than usual wholesome streak - kids making good choices, more please-and-thank-yous going around, nobody's requesting R-rated birthday cakes (read about that one HERE) - I overheard my 12-year-old singing, "I don't smoke, but sometimes I need a long drag."
Not a cute, perky long drag. But a fairly convincing "loooooong draaaaag." Sung with eyes closed, lots of vibrato, and that hand you put up when trying to hit the big notes.
Thanks, Carrie Underwood, sweetheart of America. Until we bought your latest album, "Smoke Break," my daughter thought a long drag was something her brother did with trash cans out to the curb on Mondays.
But now, home girl needs to light it up? Hardly. She's 12. For me, it's more about the lingo. I'm not quite ready for her to be up on her smoking slang. Doesn't sound ladylike. Other than that, I suggested she make it an around the house song. Maybe only sing it while organizing washi tape or Pinteresting.
Then I pondered the real meaning of the song. After all, metaphorically speaking, what weary soul doesn't need a long drag every once in awhile? Especially those who, according to Carrie Underwood, are "never taking nothing and doing nothing but giving."
Take me. I recently took a "long drag" at one of those Chinese reflexology massage places with a sign in the window: Walk-ins Welcome. It was 70 minutes of pure long draggishness, which I later celebrated with a cup of dark roast (long drag #2), a Nordstrom Rack walk-thru (long drag #3), and a See's Candies sample (long drag #s 4, 5, and 6).
Although here's the thing about long drags: I can easily line them all up everyday - long drags 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 - and will always want 7, 8, 9, 10 to quickly come the next day. There are never enough drags.
But the most lasting, in-it-for-the-long-haul "drag" out there is knowing the creator of everything calls me friend. I know, God and metaphorically (or not) taking long drags don't usually go hand in hand. But there you have it.
Jesus says, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
Ah, isn't rest is the best?
So perhaps the wholesome levels in my home are still running steady. And goodness knows cigarettes are the furthest thing from my daughter's mind. Besides, what could she possibly need a rest from? Driving literally everywhere? Paying bills? That dishwasher that always leaves a residue? Finding where the cat pee odor is coming from? Oh no, it's time I take another long drag.